Counting the Days

"Sometimes I feel like God, Fate, the Universe, or whatever people like to call him these days gives you a symbol or a sign. Whether we choose to listen or pay attention to these signs is entirely up to us."


It's May 5th, (EL cinco De Fricken De MAYOnnaise), 2013 and still no job.

1.) I can't log into my blog anymore because for some reason it has locked me out.

2.) I can't text anymore because my phone's power button can't do the reboot for the phone.

3.) I can receive texts, but I can't send them as a result of my phone not being able to reboot.

4..) My 1st car is breaking down beyond reasonable repair

5.) My best friend has asked me "Why I wouldn't move back to Austin?"

6.) Did I mention I'm losing my mind, or rather wonder how Tom Hanks survived in Castaway.


1.) I've had a feeling that my blogs are not doing any good for anybody. I have a feeling that employers may find it, and question it. I have a feeling I'm sharing too much information. So I took a break from it and thought about it. I'm on the verge of losing my mind therefore I need to mark the walls of this experience to stay mentally alive.

2.) Losing power, means losing control. And it's a sign saying this is not in my control.
3.) Talk about a sign to tell me to listen instead of talk. Or a sign saying your true will text you no matter what happens. It's one way. Which is funny, because sometimes I feel like that when some of us communicate with God.

4) A 2002 Honda Civic Black LX coupe. I've had this car since I was 16. It's breaking down. And as any one would know, it has a lot of memories with it. I think back to all the road trips and the situations we've been through. I've had it for 7 years now. What is the sign here? I can't drive it as much as I want to without knowing it needs repairs. Yet I can't afford it. So I'm stuck most of my days, not driving very far. I'm Stuck! If the car breaks down entirely I will stuck. If my computer dies, I'll really be stuck. d.

5.) This has really got me thinking about Love vs. Career choices. If you ever decide to move away really consider the people you're leaving behind. I think most people choose love and relationships, and now I know why. But either way it's a gamble. You choose the people, and they might leave. You choose the career and it might fail. But it's tough not knowing what's ahead. I've been meeting a lot of people out here. Professionals, who have jobs, and people who are no longer college students. It feels different. Even high school friends vs. college friendships feel different. It's the experiences you share together. Think about all the "Firsts" you shared with someone. They really are important. The first time you have a cigar, a beer, go to house church, or Los Angeles. All the firsts really matter.


Most of all, I'm considered a weird person by most people I meet. It's difficult to find people to understand my abstract ideas. I don't expect just anybody to either. Sometimes it just goes too deep.  I tried talking about it the other day with someone. A religious convo I usually have with the friends I had back in Austin.  It went terrible. At least from her perspective, she just wasn't getting it. It was 1 am her time and 11pm my time, and maybe I shouldn't have talked to her.  I apologized and said "sorry, I usually have these conversations back home." It's like I have a fix for conversations which cannot be had with anybody. There are certain conversations that You just can't share with anyone else, because of the way they handle a topic that is too abstract.

6.) If Tom Hanks can do it in a fictional movie which i'm sure is non-fiction to some degree, then maybe I can do it. There are a lot of things going on here, more than I can mention. Things that one just can't share with anybody. The enemies of my existence and my dreams will probably use some of this against me. After all it's the internet. I dunno if I should even share this stuff.

But seriously, friends of mine, know that I feel like a "warm beer". Have you ever tasted a warm beer? It's strange because it has all the flavor and ingredients of a cold beer. They used to drink warm beer in the old wild west. A warm beer can be a beer that is just in the wrong place at the wrong time. If this beer ever found it's way into the fridge it could never go back. If you take it out and try to make it warm again, it just goes...well...flat.