Trust your intuition for commitment without passion is empty

"For the sake of the blog, I hope there is a happy ending"

                                                                            - Blog Reader

Now there's an interesting thought. I received this quote from a friend the other day and it really got me thinking. Ending? Happy? What is that? If anything, in all of this I felt I haven't even begun. I know he meant the blog. The blog is about the transition phase, and the phase between graduating from college and starting my first job. How do you define a happy ending? I started to think about my most recent interview. If I got that job, would I really enjoy it. Everyone always talks about a start. Oh just get a job. Get experience. It's a start. Something about this quote seemed unfitting to me.

Yesterday, instead of do the same old bit and applying for jobs, I decided to do some "soul searching". I drafted a paper about what I thought would be the perfect job. One where my personality fits, and one that I would "happy" to start at. Turns out the job didn't need any specific type of degree. At least it didn't need the degree that I had. My dream job was communication-based: relationship-building, networking of the sorts, meeting clients. I went through college with the mind set "get a job, get experience, get a start", and it didn't get me anywhere. 

I've had three internships, had a job offer when I graduated, a plethora of interviews. I've made the mistake of thinking that you might "pretend" to be a certain person to get the job. I had the opportunity to "get my foot in the door". But I turned it down. Why did I turn it down? During all of my years in college I always had an intuition buried deep within my soul, that it was all counter productive. 

In a recent development, I have realized I spent my life listening to the advice of other people, but never truly listened to myself. I just didn't want to be those guys that listened to themselves and regret it later. I didn't want to be a quitter. I stayed committed to something that I was always unsure of. People told me to stick to it. I always did this with hopes that it would pay off later. Yet I never thought It would be the other way around. Commitment without passion was empty. 

I've had 5 interviews in Northern California, 3 of them in San Francisco. Today I received a call from a recruiter about my most recent interview. Turns out....I...didn't get the job. Surprise! Surprise! But strangely enough, I was glad. For the first time, I think I know exactly what I want to do.